Leicester Ring Day 5 - Friday

Fella: Got to bed comparatively early last night just after 10pm - the evening had been turning steadily colder, and just after I climbed into my sleeping bag the heavens opened. I can only assume the drumming of the rain on the boat roof must have sent me to sleep. - I'm starting to get used to my narrow bunk, as witnessed by a full 8 hours of sleep last night, rudely interrupted by my alarm going off at 6am - Normally I'm awake already and it's only a back up, but not today. I must have dozed off again because the next thing I remember was Chap banging on the door shouting if I was awake. It was already 6.20am, Chap beat me out onto deck this morning, and proceeded to set the lock right next to where we moored last night. By the time I had woken up enough to wash, clean teeth and pull some clothes on, we were already in the lock and nearly through.

I made an (as it turned out, correct) assumption that a weather front had passed over last night, and it would likely be cold this morning. For this reason, and for the first time on this trip, a second jumper (with hood) was added as a middle layer. By the time I got on deck, Chap was complaining about how cold it was. I dealt with porridge this morning to give our bodies something to burn to generate heat.

It was also windy. We spent most of the morning facing a biting headwind, and we contemplated breaking open the whisky rations some time around 8.45am. In the end we decided against it. I took the tiller as Chap was cold and in need of his morning constitutional.

We headed (not very fast due to the headwind) on toward Burton-on-Trent, home of Marstons and Bass brewers, working the odd lock here and there. Before Burton comes Branston, home of the pickle. It looks like a truly uninspiring place. When we arrived in Burton a pleasant aroma of hops and mashing tuns filled the air. I was also very happy to see how much the canalside of the town has improved. The last time I passed through Dallow Lock (about 15 years ago) in the centre of Burton it was a very unsavoury place, with graffiti and litter everywhere. It used to have anti-vandal padlocks to stop the local pondlife opening the paddles at both ends of the lock and emptying the canal of water. Not so now, no graffiti, very little litter, and no padlocks to slow us down. In place of the graffiti on the walls of the bridge which goes over the top of the lock are murals depicting canal and brewing scenes, a reminder of the importance of the canal to the growth of the brewing industry here.

It was still bloody cold as we left Burton behind to head on down the canal, the sun nowhere in sight. Chap took back over the tiller around 9.45am whilst I dipped below decks to sort out breakfast.

We reached Willington at 10.30, bang on schedule. We decided to moor for breakfast, and because there was a Co-op nearby where we could restock with provisions.

Chap: May I just point out at this stage that when you spend several days on a boat your body develops the need to constantly make minute adjustments to your stabilising muscles in order to avoid falling over as the boat rocks gently from side to side. However, after doing this for some time your body starts to integrate this within it's normal pattern of behavior. Therefore your body sways all the time. So, there I was in the Co-op, basket in hand, queuing up behind the lady who had bought various cakes for her W.I. meeting. I happened to catch sight of myself in the mirror gently swaying. When the holiday is over it's normal for my body to take at least a couple of days to return to normal. In the mean time I'll have to put up with the strange looks.

Fella: While Chap fetched off to the shops I moved the boat over to the other side of the canal to take on water. Given the headwind, manoevering the boat is no easy task as with the engine 60ft away from the bow, there's no way of stopping the front of the boat doing it's own sweet thing if the wind decides to push it. I had three goes to get the bow past the wind where it would begin to help me rather than hinder me. By the time I had done so another boat had jumped into the water-point mooring, so I came up alongside whilst four elderly folks all cluck-clucked around trying to help me (bless 'em).

Chap: When I got back from shopping, Fella was still moored up alongside the old folk. So, I engaged in small talk - turns out the old boy of the party, who owned the boat, had just got over a large dose of Legionnaires disease and this was the first time his boat had been out of it's moorings for 2 and a half years. He then proceeded to tell me that he was about to pump out the stink tank (this is the part of the boat where everything that goes down the toilet lives). His words were, 'thought i'd better clear out the stink tank, it's got 2 1/2 year old shit in it'. So, tell me, how did you get Legionnaries disease again?

Fella: Having filled with water, and nearly barfed my breakfast back up at the smell coming from the sanitry station next to the water point, we let slip the moorings and pressed on. To be honest, i'm surprised the old boy's boat hadn't exploded at some point in the last two and a half years. The methane must have been highly flammable.

Thus far all the locks on the T&M have been narrow, this was about to change as we reached Stenson Lock.

Chap: From hereon in they get wider - this means it's possible to squeeze 2 boats in side by side which can be interesting. The first of these was at Stenson. While Fella went to check out the local Chandlery, I helped a crew of senior ladies through the lock. One of these spoke with a thick American accent and was a lot larger than life. Turns out she was from Pasadena and here with her friends. She must have taken a bit of a shine to me as she took every available opportunity to flirt outrageously and pat me on the arse. Nice to know i've still got it - even if all i'm attracting is elderly ladies.

We ploughed on and came across a series of 3 locks all around 1 mile apart. I took this opportunity to don my trainers and run the whole way, setting the locks as I went. This gave me a good opportunity to chat to other canal types working through each lock and I came across one couple from Wellington, NZ. They had just landed in the UK and picked up their boat from it's moorings at Shardlow. The guy told me that this is their third year on the canals and this year they intend to spend 6 months living on their boat and cruising as far as Yorkshire and London before going back around the World in October. Sounds like a perfect way to live if you ask me.

I ran on and the last of the locks for a while was at the pretty village of Shardlow. When we got through the lock - I took the opportunity to sit at the front of the boat and check for messages on my phone. During which we crused past the lady from Pasadena who was sitting on the back of her moored boat. She noticed me instantly and did not hesitate to get in some more flirting.(Sure you wanna go there? - Fella)


Beyond Shardlow we ran into a bunch of very irritating navices (see yesterdays blog) at Derwent Mouth lock. They had just picked up their boat and had clearly paid no attention to the speech they would have had at the boat yard because they had not one iota of a clue what they were doing. Now i'll readily admit i'm no expert - Fella has been doing this stuff way longer than me - however, I'm certaily no navice but it would have taken a special level of intelligence to be as thick as these guys. After much coaching I eventually got them through the lock and onto the rest of their holiday. I do wonder sometimes if it would be an idea to, at least, show any beginners how to work a lock before giving them the boat keys. Sure, they're easy enough to use when you know what you're doing but they can also be very dangerous. You could end up with a capsized boat and a few floating bodies in a very short space of time if you're not sensible. and yet, boatyards and cruise companies seem quite happy to let these people loose with only a 10 minute talk.

Onwards then, into the wide, open stretches of the Trent and then a sharp right onto the River Soar after we passed through a lock that had electric gates (very odd) ( i'll let Fella tell you how the junction went down. I was in the shower at the time and what an interesting shower that was).

Fella: Ah yes, the run down from Sawley electric locks onto the Soar... So here's the deal, we're about to take a flat bottomed boat out onto a wide, reasonably fast flowing river. This is a boat which has a pronounced list to the left, and therefore insists on trying to turn right at every opportunity (We've spent the week fighting the tiller as it tries to swing violently over to one side).

I was perfectly happy heading down to the junction of the Soar with the Trent. There's a Scouts outdoor adventure thingy where lots of men in shorts (oh dear) were trying to show some boys how to pitch tent. I went past the entrance to the Erewash canal, then past the continuation of the River Trent as it heads north.

Here the river is about 40 yards wide, fast flowing as the water heads off in the direction of the huge Thrumpton Weir. I was happily taking in the scene, noting that the boat was managing 2800 rpm (normal crusing is at about 1400 rpm on the canals) and seemed to be bombing along. Then I noticed the combination of the strong side wind and the current were taking me toward the weir. I had to counterbalance this by pointing the boat somewhat away from the preferred direction of travel. An effect which airplanes call yawing, the result of which was a boat crabbing down the cut.

Then I noticed the entrance to the River Soar navigation was very narrow compared to the Trent, and would require me to turn about 100 degrees to my right, with my left-listing boat. I was going way too fast due to trying to counter the wind and current, and so when I swung the tiller hard over to the right to make the turn into the Soar, the boat lurched further over, pitching hard to it's left hand side. Chap was in the shower, and would most certainly have had to be very careful with the soap at that moment. I just had to be careful with my undergarments.

We finally made it onto the Soar, and locked up through some attractive river scenes (ignoring Sawley power-station, obviously)


Chap: We pitched up for the night, as scheduled at Kegworth, after passing by a rather large and smelly power station. After mooring up, we consulted the Nicholsons guide which told us the nearest pub was The Anchor. Can i just announce that I tend to get a little hesitant at this stage of the day. Up to now we haven't been too successful with evening meals and hostelries. However, tonight this was about to change. In a nutshell, 3 decent varieties of beer, very cheap and good food. A very hospitable landlady, friendly locals and we walked out with a free t shirt each and a deck of cards (freebies from the landlady). We eventually turned in around midnight, despite that fact that Fella had already announced we would neet to be up at daybreak in order to get through tomorrow's itinerary. Good!

Fella: The landlady of the Anchor was very pleasant, and insisted on calling me "mi' duck" all evening - which was nice.

The music in the pub was also pleasant which led to me issuing Chap (who is good at such things) with the challenge to come up with ten uplifting inspirational songs suitable for a corporate presentation to act as backing for a sequence of aspirational photos, carefully mixed so as to take the audience (a bunch of lawyers) on a feelgood journey - A fairly non-specific challenge, wide open with possibilities. He's never even met a lawyer - you can tell, he still has all his fingers.

We asked the landlord for some input (we politely declined his suggestion of Wham's Wake me up before you go go). So here in no particular order are the ten:

Mr Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra
Ain't seen nothing yet - Bachmann Turner Overdrive
Heroes - David Bowie
?? Unintelligible scribble ?? *
Unbelieveable - EMF
Don't stop me now - Queen
Ready to Go - Republica
Right Here Right Now - Fat Boy Slim
Reasons to be cheerful - Ian Dury and the Blockheads
Get Ready - Tempatations
Good Times - INXS

* This might be Can't stop this feeling - Razorlight, but it could also be Can't stop this thing - Bryan Adams, or Can you feel it - The Jacksons, or any number of other permutations - my recollection is not good.

You may have spotted there are eleven... so did we the morning after.

And so finally to bed, a bit worse for wear after working our way down the pumps on the bar. Easily the best evening of the trip!